Holiday Spending Without the Financial Hangover

The holidays can bring a lot of joy, connection, generosity, and tradition. They can also bring financial pressure. 

There are gifts to buy, meals to host, places to go, and people we want to show up for. And sometimes, what we feel expected to spend is shaped by more than what's actually available in our spending plan. We may want to give our kids what we didn't have growing up, keep traditions going, avoid disappointing someone we love, or compare what we can do with what others seem to be doing. 

Those feelings are real. But they don't have to set your holiday budget. 

We spoke with Tierra Bonds, Verity's Community Financial Education Specialist, about how to approach holiday spending with more intention, leave room for real life, and enjoy the season without creating financial stress that follows you into the new year. 

Start with what you can afford, not what you feel expected to spend 

Before making the gift list, start with your income, regular expenses, existing financial goals, and what you need to protect going into January. 

Then ask yourself: What do my finances actually have room for? 

If you already planned for the holidays earlier in the year or during your mid-year financial check-in, pull that plan back out. Look at what you've saved so far, what you originally planned to spend, and whether that number still works for you today. 

If you haven't started yet, that's okay. Start now. 

Look at how many paychecks you have between now and the holidays, what those paychecks already need to cover, and what you can realistically set aside. Then build your holiday spending around that number. 

Don't decide what the holidays should cost and then try to make your finances stretch around it. 

Decide what actually matters to you this holiday season 

Before you start cutting things from your spending plan, ask a different question: 

What do I actually want my money to help me create this holiday season? 

Maybe that's gifts. Maybe it's traveling home, hosting dinner, decorating, or creating an experience for your kids. 

You don't have to eliminate everything that brings you joy in the name of being "financially responsible." Instead, spend more intentionally on what matters to you, and give yourself permission to spend less on what doesn't. 

Your values should help decide where your money goes, not somebody else's holiday expectations. 

This is something we've talked about throughout the year: intentional spending isn't about deprivation. It's about making choices that reflect what matters to you and fit your current financial reality. 

Remember the cost of showing up 

We often think about gifts first when planning for the holidays, but holiday spending is rarely just gifts. 

There's shipping, wrapping paper, extra groceries, gas, school activities, work parties, family outings, tips, travel, pictures, outfits, decorations, and all the quick stops in between. 

None of those things are automatically bad spending. They're simply easy to overlook because we don't always think of them as part of our "holiday budget." 

Try looking at your calendar alongside your gift list. What are you saying yes to this season, and what might it cost to participate? 

Then leave some room for the things you can't neatly put into your spending plan. Someone unexpectedly gives you a gift. Another person gets added to dinner. Your child gets invited to an activity. You decide you really do want to attend that holiday event. Meanwhile, regular life is still happening. Your car may need something, a bill could be higher than expected, or your work hours could change. 

Set aside part of your holiday spending plan for the things that may come up. If you don't end up needing it, great. But if something does happen, you've already created some flexibility instead of having to figure out where the money will come from. 

Make room for your own patterns, too 

Not every surprise is an expense you couldn't predict. Sometimes, it's how we respond once the season gets busy. 

Think about your own patterns: 

• Where do you usually spend more than you planned? 
• What tends to catch you off guard? 
• What situations make it harder to stick to the number you chose? 
• Are there certain traditions, events, or expectations that create pressure for you? 

Build some flexibility around your answers. 

A spending plan that only works if everything goes exactly according to plan can leave you feeling like you failed with money when, really, the plan didn't leave enough room for you. 

The goal isn't to predict every expense perfectly. Plan for what you know, leave room for what you don't, and give yourself space to make intentional decisions when life happens. 

If you use Buy Now, Pay Later, have a plan for the later 

Buy Now, Pay Later (BNPL) can be a financial tool, but like any financial tool, how you use it matters. 

If BNPL works for your spending plan, understand the terms, look for an option with no interest when available, know when every payment is due, and be confident that you can complete the payments on time. 

Most importantly, don't lose sight of the total amount you've committed to paying just because today's payment is smaller. 

If something costs $100 but only $25 is due today, it's still a $100 decision. 

Before using BNPL, ask yourself: 

• What's the total cost? 
• Is there interest, or are there fees? 
• When will the remaining payments come out? 
• What else have I already committed future dollars to? 
• Does the full purchase, not just today's payment, fit my spending plan? 

BNPL can be a tool you leverage intentionally. The goal is not to let a small first payment convince you that you're spending less than you actually are. 

Give yourself permission to do the holidays differently 

Sometimes the answer isn't figuring out how to afford everything. Sometimes it's deciding what matters enough to keep and what can look different this year. 

Ask yourself what you're actually trying to create this holiday season. If the answer is joy, connection, generosity, rest, tradition, or making memories with your family, there may be more than one way to create that. 

Maybe the adults draw names instead of buying for everyone. Maybe you spend more on the one tradition your family really loves and skip something else. Maybe you set a gift limit. Maybe you have a conversation with your family instead of carrying the financial pressure by yourself. Maybe this is the year you start a completely new tradition. 

And doing something differently this year doesn't mean it has to be different forever. Your finances can have seasons, too. 

Financial wellness doesn't mean spending as little as possible. You're allowed to spend money on people you love. You're allowed to enjoy what you've worked for. You're allowed to be generous. 

Just make sure you're choosing the spending, instead of guilt, pressure, comparison, or old experiences choosing it for you. 

The goal isn't a cheaper holiday. It's a holiday that feels good while you're living it and still works for your life when it's over. 

Generosity can have boundaries 

The holidays can make it easy to take on more than you planned. You add another gift. You cover dinner. Someone needs help. You contribute to one more thing. 

Sometimes you do it because you genuinely want to. Other times, we say yes because saying no feels uncomfortable. 

Before automatically taking on another expense, ask yourself two questions: 

Do I want to do this? And do I have room to do it? 

Both questions matter. 

If the answer is yes, be generous and enjoy being able to do it. If the answer is no, that doesn't mean you don't care. It may simply mean that expense doesn't fit what your money needs to do right now. 

And generosity doesn't always have to mean money. It can be your time, cooking something, helping with the kids, hosting, making something, or simply being present. 

Having financial boundaries doesn't take away from your generosity. It helps you decide what you can give without putting yourself in a financial position you didn't plan for. 

Make a plan for your money before the holidays begin 

If you want to spend some time with your finances before the holidays get into full swing, Verity's Pathways to Wealth & Resources (PWR) is offering a free, three-week virtual series in November. 

Each Thursday workshop builds on a different part of managing your money, and you can attend the full series or choose the session that meets you where you are. 

PWR Foundations: Making & Storing Your Money 

Thursday, November 5 | 5:30–7 p.m. | Online 

Take a closer look at how you're making and storing the money you have. This workshop explores building multiple income streams, choosing between financial institutions and account types, and identifying hidden fees and predatory financial traps. 

Register for PWR Foundations: Making & Storing Your Money 

PWR Building: Making Every Dollar Count 

Thursday, November 12 | 5:30–7 p.m. | Online 

This workshop reframes budgeting as a plan for freedom rather than restriction. You'll explore how to build a spending strategy around your actual expenses, values, and goals, along with strategies for reducing debt and identifying high-risk lending. 

Register for PWR Building: Making Every Dollar Count 

PWR Generational: Making Your Money Work For You 

Thursday, November 19 | 5:30–7 p.m. | Online 

Move beyond managing today's money and explore ways to make it work toward your future. This workshop covers savings tools like high-yield savings accounts and CDs, investing and retirement basics, net worth, homeownership, entrepreneurship, and building generational wealth. 

Register for PWR Generational: Making Your Money Work For You 

PWR workshops are free, open to everyone, and Verity membership is not required. 

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